Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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