Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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