Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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