I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
