last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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