a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
