If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize