god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
