A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
