If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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