evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
