I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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