spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
