Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
