I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
