so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
