I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
