You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
