Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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