im drinking this country out of the recession.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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