Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
nut hugger
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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