we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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