discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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