I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
