Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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