So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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