is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
