I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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