Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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