I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
