Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
