Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
