3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize