Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
