but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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