Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
