Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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