I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
