I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
