i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
