he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Couch. On fire.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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