Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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