PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
