I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
