haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
wat bout pragnant strippers??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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