I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
are you so shy because you have an std?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
