Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
