you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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