i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
