Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
