Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
