Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
