I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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