woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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