Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
