Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize