Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
