had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize