remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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