Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
