How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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