I could make wine with my vomit
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm at about main and main street
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
