Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
